Cesar and Denis were Matched 7 years ago, when Denis was only 8 years old. At the time, Denis was so quiet that Cesar struggled to hear him. Now a freshman in high school, Denis is still soft-spoken, but he visibly relaxes when Cesar’s around. Cesar was brought to volunteer for our program through friends who were involved and quickly found that he and Denis had a lot in common.
They bonded over video games, sports, and comic books, and Cesar found that playing basketball together opened up pathways to more conversation. When the pandemic started, their hangouts pivoted to something new. Cesar loves to draw and the two spent hours on Zoom, Cesar demonstrating shapes and figures and Denis following suit. Now, they exchange music recommendations—though Cesar admits that Denis has the best taste.
Denis’s growth is clear. Cesar says, “When we first Matched, he would only go to IHOP, all the time. I encouraged him to branch out and try Denny’s, and he was a good sport about it even though it wasn’t his favorite. But slowly he’s started wanting to go out and try different things. Now we go to food trucks and try new foods!” They both rave about new favorites like their local San Jose pupusa spot.
“Cesar’s taught me how to draw, how to play basketball better, how to experience new food. And the advice Cesar gave me about when he was a kid really helped,” Denis reflects. “He taught me how to get a girl.” They both laugh. “Cesar says to be yourself, don’t be mean, and be kind and giving.”
“I was very quiet and kept to myself. The advice Cesar gave me about when he was a kid really helped.”
Cesar is a dad to two boys and says his relationship with Denis brings a different element to his life. “I like that Denis is not afraid to be himself. I get exposed to different things because of that. My sons are great, but they reflect who I am. With Denis, I get to see a different personality.” As Cesar talks about their long friendship, Denis listens intently. “I take what Denis gives me and I tell Caleb [Cesar’s son], ‘Hey, you wanna try this? Denis showed me this,’ and then he loves it, which is really cool. I get to share Denis’s personality with my family.” At this, Denis cracks the biggest smile he’s shown all day.
When asked about how to maintain a great Match relationship, Denis replies matter-of-factly, “When you spend a lot of time with someone, you get used to their presence and it becomes natural and genuine.” Cesar nods and adds, “Keep the pressure down. Not all the days will go well, but forget about the bad days. Compromise is the biggest thing. We’re not always gonna want the same things. So we’ll ask each other, ‘What do you want to do?’ and then we’ll come to a compromise. But because we often like the same stuff, it’s been pretty easy.” At Big Brothers Big Sisters of the Bay Area, our team carefully puts together Matches based on background, preferences, and other factors, so each Match has the best possible chance of developing into a lasting bond.
“It’s been great to see Denis become more confident [over the years],” Cesar says, highlighting the impact of building a relationship where a young person has room to grow. “If you want to really help someone get to their potential, think about being a Big. I wasn’t necessarily in the perfect place when I became a Big, but as I grow, I’m able to tell Denis what I’ve learned. Do you want to help make someone a better person? You can. Be a Big!”
Inspired by Cesar and Denis’s story? Consider becoming a mentor with Big Brothers Big Sisters of the Bay Area. Sign up today and embark on a journey of connection and transformation!
