It’s easy to see the close bond between Alvin and Eugene. Once they were Matched in May 2019, they immediately connected over their shared love of sports. Alvin is adopted, and his two moms wanted to give him the chance to spend time with someone who looks like him. Eugene grew up with a Big Brother of his own, Dirk, and wanted to give back in the same meaningful way.
Despite being only 6 years old at the time, Alvin remembers their first meeting well. “Eugene wore an ugly grey shirt,” he recalls, and they both laugh. Eugene could immediately see that even though Alvin was shy, he listened really well. Alvin’s mom Ali says, “Alvy’s a man of few words, but whatever he says, he really means. At the very beginning, after that initial meeting downtown [in San Francisco], we asked him what he thought, and he was just like, yes. Eugene was a yes from the beginning in Alvin’s heart.”
Five and a half years later, they share a playful, competitive, brotherly rapport. Eugene reminds Alvin to take care of his skin and hair, and Alvin challenges Eugene to races, sports, and more. “I’m glad that he looks up to me and wants to be like me,” Eugene says. Now 12, Alvin rolls his eyes. Not only does Eugene show up to cheer Alvin on at his sports games, Alvin cheers Eugene on at his games too. Through our program, they’ve gotten tickets to go to sporting events, where Eugene has caught several baseballs at Oracle Park for Alvin to take home. “He jumped over a railing to get a ball,” Alvin says. “Anything for you, my boy!” Eugene responds.
“I think that’s really powerful for Alvin to have—someone who sees [him] and respects him as an equal.”
Not only is their relationship a chance for Alvin to have a Black male role model, Eugene also treats him as an equal in all of their interactions. Alvin’s mom Ali says, “They have this dynamic that’s almost sibling-like, and they share that competitive nature. I think that’s really powerful for Alvin to have—someone who sees that and respects him as an equal. He knows that Eugene cares enough to go all-in for their games.” His other mom Helena says, “Eugene is really invested in being the best Big for Alvin that he can. He checks in and asks for feedback on how to best support Alvin as he’s growing and developing. Alvin feels safe with Eugene and proud to be his little.”
Eugene also doesn’t shy away from pointing out Alvin’s strengths. “I hope he realizes how gifted he is and how he can do whatever he wants to do. He’s a very talented piano player; he’s very good at sports; he’s very smart.” As Eugene lists instruments and sports, Alvin protests at a few of them, but grins the entire time.
There’s another layer to their dynamic that enriches Alvin’s life—Eugene is a member of the LGBTQ+ community. Ali says, “It fits our family landscape really well but also builds even more tolerance. It’s one thing to be raised by lesbian moms but another to understand that men are also gay, and having that opportunity to be exposed to it.” At Big Brothers Big Sisters of the Bay Area, we’re committed to meeting the unique social, cultural, and emotional needs of youth and families. We’re also proud to create safe and supportive environments where Bigs, Littles, and families alike can learn from each other, expand their understanding, and develop new perspectives. Eugene, Alvin, and Alvin’s moms are inspiring examples of community coming together in this way to build bright futures.
When thinking about the years to come, everyone involved with this Match knows it’ll stick long-term. Ali says, “Alvin’s had people come in and out of his life, and I’m just so grateful that that’s not going to happen with Eugene.” Eugene backs this up, saying, “It’s been a fun ride and I’m here for the long haul. When he turns 18, I hope that we stay in touch and continue our bond.” While his Big talks, Alvin’s strolling around the table. He stops to turn, and says with preteen nonchalance, “We probably will.”
If Alvin and Eugene’s match story resonated with you, sign up to be a mentor, enroll your child in our program, or support our mission today!